I’ve made a lot of mistakes, big mistakes – in my relationships, career and finances. But the biggest mistake I ever made was pretending those mistakes weren’t my fault. Taking accountability for my actions and their consequences, without complaining or making excuses, is the mindset I now strive for – ownership gives you power.
Many people genuinely don’t have much control over their lives because they’re victims of poverty, natural disasters, persecution and war – especially in developing countries. Try to imagine the realities of living in Gaza, Sudan or Ukraine right now. What’s dangerous is when us fortunate people blame our misfortune entirely on circumstances, and nearly all of us are guilty of it. While external factors have a part to play, ignoring the huge element of choice is a costly mistake that will hold you back.
Can’t get a job you enjoy? The slow job market and your unhelpful boss are factors… as are your outdated CV and your failure to keep up with networking.
You may feel like you’re stuck; trust me, I’ve been there. Yet there’s almost always a way forward if you’re prepared to commit yourself emotionally to making a change. It doesn’t come without risk, but neither does staying put. I know first hand that truly serving your needs is hard work, and people rarely achieve it without sacrifices, though in the end it’s absolutely worth the time, energy and temporary discomfort.
Not earning enough? The unstable economy and lack of pay transparency are factors… as are your scant professional development and absent negotiation skills.
Besides, how much do you really need to be earning, and are you spending it wisely? Consider that the UK minimum wage salary makes you richer than 94% of humans, post-tax and adjusted for Purchasing Power Parity (PPP)1. You can blame the evil profiteering 1% for your financial woes, but did you know that a British couple with one child earning £110k each are already in the 1% global ‘elite’ in terms of wealth?
If you live in any major city, you’ll know friends, colleagues or neighbours like this – they’re hardly billionaires. We’re all a lot wealthier than we think. While you can’t control the actions of governments or business moguls, you can choose to invest in your development; alternatively, you can find a job that pays less but fulfils you more.
Falling into a victim mentality isn’t limited to your career either, it applies to all aspects of your life. If you’re not alert, you can easily convince yourself that change is futile.
Feel overweight or unfit? The cost of groceries, long working hours and unrealistic body standards are factors, as are eating junk, avoiding exercise and doom scrolling.
I have the greatest respect for anyone managing a disability, illness or injury, and some of those people achieve remarkable feats. I’ve also heard every excuse under the sun for poor fitness from people for whom it’s a choice, including myself at times.

My point is not that you are to blame for everything that’s wrong in your life and you should therefore punish yourself for being a failure. Bad, uncontrollable things happen even to well-off people in safe, developed countries – it’s important to show compassion for everyone, especially yourself. My point is that you alone get to choose how you react to your circumstances, and in spite of external factors you actually have a great deal of freedom and power to influence your outcomes. Exceptionally few people have enough power to determine the rules of the game, but those of us fortunate to live a relatively privileged life at least get to choose how we play it.
So play it to the best of your ability, with purpose, and own your performance!
https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/how-rich-am-i?income=21804&countryCode=GBR&numAdults=1&numChildren=0